Flighty
by nekked
Summary: Wherein Luffy is responsible for something and Nami cannot even. Rated T for talking birds and nudity. Happy late 18th, Foxchicka! — LuNa


_******A/N:** I'm sorry this is so ridiculously late, girl. ;_; Hopefully you still like it. Some late birthday schmaltz for you._

_**Prompt:** 'Animal magnetism'_

_**Sub-prompts:** Money, orchids, feathers_

_Enjoy~_

* * *

"I don't suppose you know what plants would be genuinely useful to you, Long Nose-kun…"

"The point of cataloging is to note down the different attributes of each one and then figure out if I could use it later," Usopp grumbled, not so much out of annoyance with his raven haired assistant as with how fast time seemed to fly when he was wandering around what could only be described as a botanist's dream. Robin held his personal satchel containing two other journals he'd already filled, and a separate satchel that contained samples and bulbs they'd gathered just in the one day they'd been here. She scraped some mud from her knee high leather boots and smiled at the serious look on his face.

"I'm impressed with your dedication to your work," she said with simple cheerfulness and airy amusement, his eager scribbling trailing off for a moment so he could blush and stick his chest out.

Robin's purpose for tagging along was more for her own interests, even if she was genuinely glad to help with keeping him organized and easing his (admittedly still adorable) nervousness at venturing out too far by himself. Two plant enthusiasts teaming up to tackle what was probably the most tempting island they'd landed on in ages; it wasn't rocket science. She'd slapped on a sun hat, flirted her way into getting Sanji to pack a picnic lunch for them, and couldn't be bothered to wonder if something terrible had happened to everyone else. They hadn't seen hide nor hair of anyone all day, and it wasn't unusual for someone to get kidnapped or potentially killed by now. Pleasant.

Her eye caught something distinctly red in its corner, even among the brilliant rainbow colors and fashion of blooms on either side of the barely trodden path. She smiled warmly and kneeled to take a closer look.

"I don't mind if you want to take samples of your own," Usopp called over, having observed her interest in something particular. "Just make sure you label the baggy properly like the others."

"I know that much," she chuckled, shaking her head at his boastfulness. Let him be the Plant Hero he wanted to be. She could categorize something like this on her own.

_What a pretty color…_

Rather than cut a bulb from it, she transplanted the flower to a plastic baggy with dirt at the bottom, using a stick to support it until she could get back to the ship.

Usopp's ears pricked a little, his frown wide and irritated. He muttered as he walked over to her, stuffing the journal in his overalls pocket, "Sounds like it's time for us to head back, eh?"

Robin chuckled and nodded, hoisting her small memento up to sit in both hands. "Hopefully nothing awful happened to Nami. Perhaps an animal ripped her arm off while they were wandering around…"

"Can you NOT," Usopp pleaded as they hauled ass back to where the screaming and sounds of terror were coming from.

* * *

"Luffy did the right thing, Nami," Chopper explained patiently, her sprawled out like a pale rag over the railing with Luffy's beaten, bloodied body laying crumpled and awkward in the middle of the deck. Her head ached unbelievably and her whole body was pained with stress.

"There are certain situations where it should be acceptable to just kill something," she grumbled, not ready to move for fear she'd puke from anxiety. "Huge spiders are things that shouldn't be reasoned with. I don't care."

"The spider might've had babies," Chopper pointed out. "And one of that size is probably rare. You might've been fined if Luffy had done something different…"

"I thought this would be a fun thing to do," she lamented, staring at the reserve island as they sailed off for their next destination. "Now I'm all shook up and Luffy's a bloody mess…for some reason…probably because he didn't kill the spiders…"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT," Usopp, Franky, Zoro and Chopper hollered in unison. Nami ignored them all and wobbled over to where her captain lay, snoring like nothing had even happened. She momentarily envied his ability to roll with the punches before deciding she was, in fact, still pissed. Her sandal heel dug into his face.

"I know you've got some sort of creepy, animal whisperer thing going on now, but the next time something like that happens, I'm leaving your ass behind," she growled, finally adhering to his whining and flailing and lifting herself from his face. "You and Zoro will have to find your own way back to the ship."

"What're you implying," Zoro muttered with drowsy irritation, back to his afternoon nap. He didn't like the way she'd hinted that that was punishment enough. She waved his question away like an annoying fly.

"My apologies, Nami-swan," Sanji mewled upon prancing over with some water and an aspirin. "This would not have happened if I'd been there to protect you."

"You seemed pretty happy to collect fruit and help me dig for roots," Chopper commented, Sanji whirling like a dark cloud and muttering pointedly about reindeer stew being on the dinner menu. Nami sighed and turned, downing her medication and letting her eyes linger over Robin, still kneeling at her newly refurbished flower garden. _She_ looked happy. Lucky adventuring partner draw of the day must've been Usopp, then…

"Speaking of fruits, I am planning on making a splendid dessert with my findings," Sanji said, Nami's attention blinking back to him. She glanced over at Luffy, now completely recovered at the mention of food. He rocked over on his butt until he could stare up at his cook, drool cascading out of his mouth.

"…and none for the guy who almost got Nami-san killed…"

"STINGY," his captain screamed, coiling himself over the cook's leg so he was dragged about half way to the kitchen before they both fell and brawled down the stairs.

"Everyone seems so lively," Brook commented as he emerged from the crow's nest and climbed down. "Ah, I suppose compared to me, everything is pretty lively. YOHOHOHO~"

"Where've you been all day," Usopp asked, a wrench in one hand and the other over his hip. "Franky said you were cleaning, but we got kinda worried when you didn't even come out to see us when we got back…"

"You never did bring me a cola you jerk," Franky muttered, the blue prints for his joint project with Usopp spread over his legs. "You just disappeared after you came up from the storage room."

Brook laughed, evidence of his cleaning escapades all over his tall frame: his flowery apron was dusted with powdered cleaner, he still wore a pair of yellow rubber gloves, and his afro was tied up so the poof sat on top of his head. It sat side ways now, his skull cap sitting opened, probably to hold extra cleaning supplies. Nami folded her arms and smiled.

"You did a good job, I'm sure. I haven't gotten a chance to look around because I had to teach that idiot," she said cheerfully, pointing at Luffy who was still preoccupied with campaigning for a dessert, "a lesson."

"I did go lax a little when I got up to the crow's nest," the skeleton admitted. "These old bones of mine can only go for so long without a break. I opened the hatch and decided to let the room air out, and before I knew it, I'm waking up to hear Luffy-san getting yelled at. Though…I have no ears to hear. Skull joke!"

"Well, this should make up for it," Nami said, patting his arm. "If I catch you with my panties again I'll do worse, ok?"

All the guys watching soaked up the dark aura she projected. "S-Scary…"

"Oi! Brook!" Luffy's smile and Sanji's passive waving as he went up the stairs suggested annoying persistence had prevailed. He stretched over to study his musician's attire, laughing and commenting about how stupid it looked. Brook agreed whole heartedly and they scampered around the deck, singing about idiot's in aprons.

"I think I'm going to need to take a bath or something later," Nami muttered. "You guys are _hilarious_ and all, but…"

"Oi! Brook! Something just fell out of your head," Usopp warned, the object making impact with the grassy ground and rolling a few feet away from the dancing morons it had escaped from. Luffy caught sight of it and let his curiosity get the better of him. His eyes lit up as he reached down to pick it up.

"Brook…I didn't know you could lay eggs…"

"I…I did not know either," the skeleton said quietly, both of them enthralled with the idea that this had fallen out of him.

"IT'S OBVIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE," Franky and Usopp screeched, whacking them both.

Nami frowned and walked over. "Egg? What the hell was an egg doing in your head?"

Brook shrugged. "I have no idea."

Luffy held it up to the setting sun and tilted his head. "Can we eat it?"

Nami made a face. "I don't find that prospect particularly appetizing considering where it came from." Luffy shrugged.

"I'll eat it."

"You would."

"What's all the commotion," Chopper called, coming out from the galley and peeking through the railing. "I heard something about an egg."

"Just cook it or something so you guys can shut up," Zoro muttered, giving his piece of input before falling back into slumber.

"It's got a crack in it already anyway," Luffy mentioned, poking at his find. "It's no good to just let it sit for later."

"What the hell do you think the purpose of an egg is besides eating it?" Nami questioned in increased irritation, chopping at his head lightly. He glared at her.

"When birds sit on 'em, other birds come out. But there wasn't a bird on Brook's head. So now it's mine." He stuck out his tongue, satisfied with his own answer. Nami rolled her eyes at his simple reasoning.

"That's right. A bird would've had to lay the egg in Brook's head, then," Usopp figured, rubbing his chin. "Probably when he was napping."

"Then…" Franky said tearfully, snot dripping onto his blueprints, "…we took the kid from its mom…'cause Bones wasn't paying attention…"

"I think it just thought Brook looked hungry," Luffy said with a dumb smile.

"You're the _worst_," Usopp accused, struggling not to lose it like Franky. Nami wondered how much more idiocy she would have to take…

Luffy blinked his attention back to the egg, now jerking around in his hands. His eyes widened a little when a piece of shell gave way and a beak popped out, chirping madly in between pecking at the hole it had made. Nami looked at it for a moment before backing up to stand behind Usopp. He gulped.

"Oi…what if it's one of those man eating birds they said nested way up on the mountain…"

"Why is it even hatching anyway," Nami seethed, tears tumbling down her face because these things always seemed to happen to them. "Didn't we agree it was just laid a little while ago?"

"What's going on?" Robin asked, coming down the stairs just in time to witness the complete hatching of the creature they'd kidnapped.

"Whoa," Luffy muttered, eyes glistening with amazement as the bird shook itself free of the shell. It sat in his palms, wet and exhausted. Chopper came around, looking nervously at him.

"Luffy, since it's come to this, we need to keep it warm. Bring it to my office. _Quickly._"

"Great. Now we've got a bird to be responsible for," Zoro complained, sitting up and giving up on getting any sleep before dinner. Robin smiled.

"Well, I wouldn't mind a little in-cruise entertainment…"

"What do you mean by that?" Nami asked cautiously. Robin shrugged.

"I just figured since Luffy was the one holding it when it came out…"

Nami and Usopp blinked together, letting realization sink in. "No…no way…"

Upon venturing up to confirm if their suspicion's were justified, they found Luffy standing awkwardly over a basket full of unwrapped bandages with an apparently upset chick inside. Chopper was setting up a lamp over it to make sure it didn't get cold.

"It's noisy," Luffy decided, mouth forming a line of annoyance and turning to his other crew mates. "Can't we turn the ship around and take it back?"

"I'm afraid it's gotten a little more complicated than a simple reversal of course," Nami grumbled. "You're such an idiot. If you'd just left it on the ground this probably wouldn't have happened…"

He frowned and raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"

"Come over here, Luffy," Nami beckoned with sweet falsity, him shrugging and doing as he was told, only to hear the bird start having a panic attack when he disappeared from its limited range of vision.

"It's imprinted onto you," Chopper explained, sweat dropping. "It thinks you're its mom, Luffy."

Luffy's face tightened into displeased unsureness. "…I have balls. I can't be its mom."

"THE BIRD DOESN'T CARE," Nami screamed, whacking him upside the head. "Everyone with even an iota of intelligence would've seen this coming."

"Luffy didn't really know it was going to hatch," Robin pointed out, shrugging from the doorway. "And in any case, this could be an interesting experience. Mothering a bird."

"Not in knowing that Luffy's the one who has to take care of it," Nami argued seriously, folding her arms. "And even if he doesn't end up killing it, we're still stuck with a bird. Not my idea of an ideal pet. Especially if it turns out to be one of those man eating kinds…" She noticed Luffy look at her and frown.

"We could try to identify it," Robin suggested. "I found an interesting book that gives descriptions about the animals featured on the reserve when we visited the outpost…"

"That's very…convenient," Nami grumbled, leaning on the wall and exhaling.

"Dinner's ready, swan's and shit's," Sanji swooned, leaning in through the kitchen door. He blinked when his eyes fell on Luffy, bending over the screeching little chick with his head tilted and his eyes focused.

"I think the bird wants to eat too," he decided. "It's definitely hungry."

"Birds of a stomach squawk together," Usopp joked. "You're definitely its mom." Luffy gave him a glaring pout, but pulled up a chair so he could look at the bird more comfortably. Nami noted the change in attitude, eyes softening a little.

"Robin, bring me that book," Chopper asked, hopping down to exit the room. "I want to see if we can figure out what it eats." The archaeologist smiled and nodded, following him out. Usopp excused himself to get a head start on eating before Luffy.

"Sanji," the brunette said softly, but loud enough for him to hear, "I wanna eat in here."

Nami watched Sanji nod before exiting with a knowing smirk on his face. "Gotcha."

For a split second, Nami considered making the same request, but thought better of it once she stopped and let her common sense remind her that such silliness was unnecessary. She did let herself admit that the idea of Luffy playing mommy to a bird for a while was kind of amusing. Her womanly heart vomited some of that familiar fondness, throat fuzzy while she watched him mumble to the bird about whether it wanted meat like him.

She sauntered out before she melted into something unrecognizable; couldn't have her being washed away the next time they had to navigate through a storm.

* * *

"It's the right color," Robin noted, she and Chopper mulling over the pages. "A peachy color…"

"So what does that mean?" Nami asked.

"It says it's a species of bird they breed on the island called a Toinbing."

"Toinbing?" Usopp repeated, tilting his head. "That's an interesting name I guess. You're sure it's this type of bird?"

"It says mother's seek out decaying organic matter such as pieces of tree bark and animal bones to build nests with," Robin said slowly. "Which might explain her interest in Brook's head…"

"How rude," the skeleton sniffed. "I have excellent hygiene."

"I don't see any care instructions, though," Robin said, flipping through with Chopper's eyes scanning eagerly.

"If I could just figure out the general family of bird it derives from, I could figure out how to feed it and go from there. It's a little too young to talk to," the reindeer said, hopping down to waddle over to a still intensely focused Luffy. The bird looked pretty distressed, though not showing it so much with shrill shrieks. It laid in its basket with dim eyes. Chopper knew baby birds had to be fed frequently, but he was caught between a rock and a hard place. He couldn't just assume anything; feeding baby birds was a delicate thing to undertake. One wrong move and it might die. On the other hand, if they took too long trying to categorize it, it would die anyway from malnourishment and starvation.

He was brought out of his concerned daze when Luffy muttered, "Its beak is pretty big. It kinda looks like it's weighing its head down…"

It was a small, seemingly insignificant observation, but to Chopper, it vaguely tapped into something he had already archived away on his adventures studying on his island. He asked Robin to retrieve a book from a shelf in the library, and found what he was looking for before she could take her seat back on the bed.

"I think it's a parrot," he said carefully. "See how the beak is shaped? It's not pointy or flat billed like a duck."

"Do you know how to feed it, then?" Nami asked, admittedly getting anxious now that they all saw the bird starting to deteriorate. "What should we do?"

"I'll make the formula myself since I've made it before and we don't have time to waste, but Luffy," he said to his captain directly, "you'll have to feed it."

Luffy blinked a little, but to everyone's surprise, seemed like he'd been expecting that. "Mm."

Chopper smiled cheerfully, then excused himself to prepare the bird's meal.

And whether Nami wanted to admit it or not, she was impressed by the level of attentiveness Luffy was willing to display from the moment that first domino fell and sent all other pieces standing rigid with uncertainty sprawling for spot in the dust. Chopper guided him of course, but it was evident in the way he held the dropper for the bird to feed. She saw it in the way he would lean down and smile at it and laugh if it started screeching in excitement. All jaws were flopping across the floor when it was explained he would have to do this ritual every two hours of every day until the bird could eat solid food. Even at night. And Luffy only nodded and asked if it was alright if he sleep in the office to make it easier.

Nami nearly walked out before hearing part two of his plea to Chopper, "I'm no good at cooking and stuff…do you think I could get your help for a little longer?"

It was his tone. It was not in the least demanding or expectant. It was humble and appreciative for the things his doctor had already done. She turned her eyes to see him holding his hat in his hands, fondling it with an uncharacteristic nervousness. Chopper probably noticed too, a hesitant and slightly confused, "Of course! That's what I'm here for after all," and skipping to the kitchen to make sure Sanji understood why there might be noise during the night coming from there. Luffy replaced the hat and grinned widely at the chirping thing sitting in its new bed, then caught his navigator's lingering gaze.

"Somethin' up?" he asked curiously. She bobbed her suddenly heavier head from side to side.

"N-No. I, uh, forgot what I was gonna say."

What words could she use to describe what she was feeling anyway. Later that night, kitchen still warm with the last formula feeding and Luffy passed out next to his bird with the world's most awkward nose bubble grown to envelope half of his face, Nami stared through the door and glared. He wasn't particularly grouchy if a friend or something helpless was in need, but years ago some complaints might have at least been had. She wasn't suspicious, per se, but it nagged a little at her brain. Like she was missing something important.

Chopper squirmed under the blankets on the bed, and she silently made her way back to the girls' room, still not sure why this was taking up so much of her brain space.

* * *

"It's my bird, I'm keeping the name," Luffy defended against the pout Usopp was pulling and everyone else's apparent unimpressed attitude towards the name he'd picked out. 'Tori', as it was now revealed he had trained the bird to react to in their time together, waddled across the lawn deck, never taking his eyes off of Luffy. Luffy was having a grand old time weaving different patterns over the grass and looking over his shoulder to make sure he was still being followed. Every once in a while he'd react heatedly to somebody's verbal criticism of his lack of creativity and the bird would have to work extra hard to catch up.

"Technically we found it in Brook's head, but since you're the one who's been feeding it..." Sanji shrugged, flicking some blonde hair away from his eye. Robin stood beside him with a notepad, casually sketching cute illustrations of Captain Kaa-chan and his loyal sidekick. Nami's mouth squiggled at the small bit of pink she felt rising to her cheeks when the chick took a nose dive and Luffy panicked a little, turning to hold out a hand to it and make sure it was okay.

_Kawaii…_

"I'm just glad it looks so much better than when we found it," Chopper said with relief. Nami blinked out of her stupor and pouted with envy at the glass of raspberry lemonade in his hooves.

"That sounds pretty good right now…"

"My mellorine," Sanji cooed beside her, his speed and ability to catch on even more frightening than it had been two years ago. The pitcher sloshed like it was embarrassed it hadn't been able to keep up with his timing. He handed her a glass and made good on equal service for the ladies, an extra arm branching off of Robin expectantly. Nami started to sip, turning back to see what the boy's were talking about…

"…Mugiwara would be an excellent pop and I don't think you're giving him enough credit."

Lemonade sprayed out of Nami's mouth, drenching her blonde companion and surprising even Robin enough to earn an eyebrow raise in question. Sanji fainted. Something about not being worthy of her spit. Robin slid a smooth hand under the tray before he fell, otherwise completely ignoring him.

Nami coughed, blushing in embarrassment and waving everyone back to their conversation. Robin helped her refill her glass.

"Franky, you're missing a big part of what I'm trying to say here," Usopp said, Luffy scratching his head curiously and picking his bird up from the ground. He held it to his chest and pouted, trying to pick up on what everyone was talking about. Especially since it appeared to be about him.

"What's to miss? It's not like it takes a lot of work to make a kid. I imagine he could at least do that much. The bird's not dead yet. I think he'd do a good job."

Everyone turned towards the sounds of another lemonade incident, Robin the receiver of the sad burst of citrusy spittle this time around. Her face remained unchanged at first, but her mouth formed a thin line of annoyance when she realized her cute drawing hadn't escaped the moisture. Nami's face was neon pink. She waved sheepishly and Zoro shook his head when everyone had reconvened.

"What are you guys talking about?" Luffy asked, Tori squawking incessantly. Brook tickled his fuzzy head with one bony finger.

"Sounds like we're debating whether you'd know what to do with a vagina if you ever saw one."

The group all slowly turned to look at Nami again, no new mess of liquid, but the sounds of strain and exasperation drawing their attention towards her face. She had managed to stop herself from choking a third time, but her face hurt with the effort it took to keep all the liquid in her mouth. This was her punishment for trying to quell the throat spasms caused by her other two outbursts.

"Nami, are you okay?" Usopp called over, watching her swallow hard and start coughing. Chopper had moved on from Sanji and was standing beside her with some concern.

"Breathe, nee-chan. Breathing is super."

"Vagina," Zoro said simply, catching onto her issues and smirking when Brook broke into a laughing fit.

Luffy, of course, understood nothing. He gave a half smile and tilted his head.

"Vagina…that one's interesting…if that's what Tori wants to be called instead..."

A resounding scream of 'NO' blew his hat clean off his head and Tori's feathers were fluffed to twice their size with the force.

"DAMMIT, CAN'T YOU GUYS BEHAVE YOURSELVES?" Nami shouted with enough sharpness to push the smile off of everyone's faces. She yanked the lemonade from Robin's chuckling hands and stomped into the kitchen where she wouldn't have to worry about envisioning weird things.

That night, she dreamed. She dreamed of a bed partner with no way to fathom her vagina. Tori laughed in the background, eventually growing Franky's head and donning his speedo. He kept telling her to breathe, and she found she actually couldn't. She woke up with a sheen of sweat soaking through her tank top and decided a brisk walk to check on Luffy was in order.

She opened the office door, forgetting briefly the heat, the location, the opportunity, and who she was dealing with. She opened the door to pants-less, underwear-less, clothes-less, shameless Luffy snoring the song of his people and liberated from his blanket, lower half of his body on the bed and the rest of him lazed over the floor. Right. She should have known. Chopper had stopped sleeping in here when the bird had started to eat seeds and fruit, so sleeping in the nude was probably more easily done.

She wasn't staring at him, really, more like beyond the rise of his shadowed junk to the origins of the situation. Beyond the bird. Beyond everything.

She eventually came to a blank void and decided that was where she'd lost the right to expect anything less than inconvenience and nudity.

She shut the door and returned to her room.

Sleep; she did not dare question when it would be safe to contact it again.

* * *

"Feel that wind, Tori," Luffy muttered, hair whipped silly with the very thing he was trying to show his feathered friend. The bird lifted its chin in an attempt to mimic his mother's manly face, squeaking in response. His peach fuzz was all replaced by red feathers, nature's badge signifying he was ready for the next step towards bird-man-hood. He had grown considerably and now looked like a real bird instead of a chicken nugget.

"WE AREN'T DOING THIS. DO YOU HEAR ME? WHAT IF ANOTHER SHIP PASSES BY AND STARTS LAUGHING AT US. I AM ASSOCIATED WITH YOU IDIOTS," Nami screamed in Usopp's ear as he and Franky ignored her and went about their business, scooting around Luffy and preparing him for what was merely his most challenging feat as a parent since they'd adopted the bird. Luffy was stoic, man's romantic ambition spurting out of every pore and collecting at his crinkled eyelids.

"Today's the day," Franky mumbled, flipping his sunglasses down, smile twinkling in the early morning light.

"Hell yeah," Usopp said gruffly, giving a thumbs up.

"Tori," Luffy said determinedly, hulking rocket boots heavy on his feet and tears falling down his cheeks as he and the bird made manly eye contact. "Today, we fly."

"THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA, AND I HOPE YOU DIE," came his navigator's fiery second attempt to convince them that this was the dumbest idea anyone had had in a loooong time. Robin in contrast, though stony faced and apparently indifferent, stood beside her waiting for the inevitable failure and entertainment that would come with it. Zoro blinked next to Sanji and Brook, second hand smoke not even being complained about for the moment. Chopper waited with bandages and burn ointment beside him and a hose at the ready. Because something (or somebody) would undoubtedly burst into flame. And though he had his code of doctoral services to uphold, he too was a man and understood nothing would keep his friends from exploring this normally forbidden territory. Flying. With rocket boots. Every man's romance.

Nami's face sagged. She'd bet every penny she had sitting in her room they had all been looking forward to this from the moment they realized Luffy's duties included flight education. No wonder she hadn't seen hide nor hair extra of their sniper and ship wright lately…

"If you nerds get burned you will not get one cent extra for new clothes," she warned bitterly. "I'm already docking your allowances 20%…"

"Perverts don't mind a lack of clothes," Franky informed her boldly, stepping back with Usopp to witness the glorious unfolding of idiocy when they decided it was time to press the remote button. "Freedom…is what we're after, here."

"Hell yeah," Usopp repeated, gritting his teeth with suspense.

Luffy put his bird safely out of his range and nodded. "When you feel it, come and join me," he said, still weeping wisdom and testosterone. "I know you can do it."

The button was pressed with a dramatic banshi call from both of its creators, and Luffy was flung into the great blue beyond, screaming and laughing like a loon until he was a tiny dot playing high above the ship.

"What do you plan to do if this doesn't work," Nami called over, admittedly more worried for her captains life now that the stench of idiot had been replaced by the stench of imminent death. Franky wagged a finger.

"If mugiwara comes plummeting back to Earth, by some chance that the cola power runs out and flames can't hold him up…"

"Like now," Sanji said calmly, everyone now noticing the increasingly louder screams accompanying Luffy's fall from the clouds. Franky grinned like he'd been expecting it.

"…The emergency power propels him over the water instead of up."

Well, now that _that_ was cleared up and everyone was witnessing the transformation from soaring bird into robo-powered rubber Jesus, it was safe to assume nothing more could go wrong. Because Franky and Usopp were _brilliant _and had accounted for _everything_.

Except, in that time frame between the rocket boots exploding a few yards from the ship and incinerating Luffy's clothes, and the momentum sending him flying the rest of the width of the deck naked and flaming and straight towards a knowing, cheshire faced Nami, looking towards heaven for answers she was never going to get, she forgot completely the reason she had thought he had matured.

Their faces smashed together on impact. They both continued right on over the railing and into the water. Nami's very first kiss, if it could be categorized as such. When the damage was assessed, she'd limped away with a black eye and a lost molar. Luffy would be paying for all of it in the afterlife. Brook told every tooth related skull joke conceivable.

Tori hadn't even gotten off the ground.

* * *

"You were too cute to kick out," Nami informed Tori, the bird hopping around on her arm and drawing from her an exhausted sigh. "We tried shoving you out of the tree but Chopper said it was too soon anyway…you're not done developing…"

"When he starts speaking I believe is when he said we should try again," Robin said smoothly, coffee mug steaming in one hand and the other arm propped up next to the aquarium glass. She watched Nami carefully and smiled. "For a while you seemed all right with this, but it seems you've remained tense since your last…run in…with Senchou."

Nami sneered at her meaning behind 'run in' and pouted at a clown fish to distract herself. "Tch. You can laugh because you still have all your teeth."

"It was sweet of Luffy to offer to feed you like Tori…"

"No, it was gross. And it was just a back tooth anyway. Franky said he could make me a new one."

"I suppose he owes you in any services he can dish out," Robin reasoned behind a mug filled smile. Nami nodded, bottom lip protruding.

"You're damn right."

"For a while, before they decided to try flying, you seemed very supportive," Robin pointed out vaguely. They knew each other well enough to know she was sniffing for something specific. Something Nami probably wouldn't even know was sniffable until she'd let it slip and would have to regret it for all eternity. Her mind raced trying to think of possibly incriminating things to say. She imagined her archaeologist friend multiplying her nose thousands of times until she was buried and suffocated to death. Robin was an assassin, in any case. No possibility could be thrown out. However, death by nose smothering would be something a bit too embarrassing to explain at her funeral.

"You were fine with how Luffy handled caring for him," she said more bluntly, Tori hopping on the seat between them, squawking and flitting his wings.

"I appreciated how sure he was of himself after he looked at the situation and decided to take responsibility is all," she replied, poking Tori's beak playfully. "It was surprising how well he did. Even if Chopper was helping him…he was very…adult-like."

"Mmm." Robin's coffee remained parked mid air while she studied her younger friend and blinked with reptilian cool. Nami didn't like the loaded silence following.

"And why do you think that is?" she finally spoke, as if she had been waiting for the red head to say something leading into the question. Wouldn't be the first time Nami had unwittingly dropped the ball.

She laughed at first, then, the more she thought about it, the deeper into what Luffy's thoughts might have been upon obtaining his new nakama. Nami looked at the bird, ruffled wings flapping determinedly while he hopped around between the two women.

"Care to take a walk with me?" Robin asked, getting up to set her cup down on the small elevator shelf leading up to the kitchen. "Bring Tori along…"

Nami did as she was told, cupping him in her hands and following Robin up until they were standing before her neat little flower patch. She pushed back a piece of her own raven hair and squatted down to show Nami the one intended to go along with her explanation for bringing her there.

"It's a beautiful color," Nami complimented, Robin smiling warmly. "Like the line on the horizon before a sunrise."

"I chose it among hundreds of others for the color," sighed Robin. "I admire orchids for their tenacity; they grow anywhere they can."

"Like Luffy," Nami said flatly, eyebrows knitting with having already summarized the lecture she was going to receive. "Anything else profound you care to share tonight?"

"Have you ever heard of 'The Four Gentlemen'?" Robin asked with wave of her hand, ignoring Nami's sass. Nami pouted and thrust a hip out in defiance.

"None of those on this ship."

"I'm not so sure," the now occupied gardener murmured, patting the soil near the roots and urging Nami to sit beside her. With a note of fondness in the way she spoke, she began with, "all of us have changed a bit, but the boys…all of the boys had something to polish, some specific way they needed to grow. Maybe not under desirable circumstances, but," she paused to smell a flower, "they have carved their own ways towards the sun."

Nami was more attentive now, curious as to what her reasoning was, although she had an idea.

"Sanji-kun," Robin chuckled, "a flirt with the warmth and talent that we know and love him for, now burning with pride and passion and confidence in his skills I wish I could have watched him gain." The raven haired woman rested her chin in a cupped palm. "Like spring into summer; the grace and sustainability of bamboo."

"Ah, then, summer into fall?" Nami asked, catching on a little.

"Zoro," Robin broke into an amused grin, "unmatched skill and determination, though unrefined, now turned into something collected and focused. Chilling, yet comfortable with the role he is given."

"Which is?" Nami teased, urging her to hurry despite admitting this was insightful.

"A man with dignity and people to protect," she finished. "A chrysanthemum."

"He probably wouldn't appreciate you comparing him to a flower," Nami pointed out, looking towards the stars and sighing.

"Perhaps not, but if everyone else is a flower, there's really nothing to worry about."

"What about fall into winter?"

"Usopp has changed drastically," came Robin's grinning explanation, "from a boy who runs at the first signs of danger, to a man who has shed all of his doubts and can make intelligent decisions. For himself, and everyone depending on him." Nami smiled through her soft finish of, "Very much akin with the plum blossom."

There was a long pause, both of them now aware of what a winter into spring change for their last gentleman meant. Nami's heart sank.

"From something bitter, into something extraordinary and beautiful," Robin mused, "that is all I can associate with Senchou. He has a heart I believe could withstand nothing, and anything all at once."

An intolerance for everything he deemed unacceptable, yet strong enough to move on. Nami sat and stared with her friend at the orchid, red, tall, and very much withstanding.

"His loss of Ace has probably made him sensitive to these things."

"He's the big brother this time," Nami nearly choked, the familiar ache surfacing that meant she hadn't lost her heart somewhere along the way. Tori had long since fallen asleep tucked into her cleavage.

Robin exhaled and nodded. "It would seem so."

"I think Chopper might be sad to not be included," Nami laughed, trying to get her bearings.

Robin laughed, smiling knowingly towards the drop off near the front railing. "He's already the world's greatest doctor. Though his improvement at his craft is appreciated, I'm sure we all agree he's in a class all his own."

"DUMBASS! AS IF THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY."

The two women giggled and listened to the door to the boys' room close again.

* * *

The bird grew to be too big to be toted around in Nami's cleavage, though she was pleased it had grown attached to just about everyone else in the crew besides Luffy now. But nobody took precedence over him. If he entered a room and Tori had been with someone else, he would leave to hop over and squawk until his mother had perched him on his shoulder. He still didn't fly, though he enjoyed climbing things with small hops and clawing maneuvers. Chopper said it wasn't abnormal, that they should keep trying to encourage him if they could, and to watch for if he started speaking since that was usually what preceded a readiness for parrot flight.

Nami wondered how Luffy might react to Tori eventually leaving them to live in the wild. None of the islands they had landed on since obtaining their new nakama seemed a good fit to try to get him to live on. He liked certain fruits and seeds, and since he couldn't fly yet, leaving him anywhere just seemed like a bad idea. And her captain seemed down with the idea of keeping him forever. He was already considered a nakama, and Luffy seemed happy to just chat with him on Sunny's head when nobody else was free to bother. Nami herself was starting to see the benefits of keeping Tori permanently. Her work time had fewer interruptions. And as far as pets go, once he learned to fly, he could easily fend for himself and keep out of everyone's way.

"He doesn't say anything back yet," Luffy whined one day, Robin and her red-headed sun bathing companion giving each other a look. Their interpretations of the look were probably different, but it was a look all the same.

"Luffy, I don't want to listen to you go on like you did yesterday. It was raining so I could tolerate you. Today, you're either going to shut up, or I'm throwing you overboard."

"But Nami, I want him to fly. I want him to talk."

"Well you better hope you don't annoy the shit out of him before he does. He'll get sick of you and fly away."

Robin chuckled at Luffy's horrified face, taking his bird in his hands and giving him a hurt look. "He won't. He'll stay with me."

"Don't be so sure~" his navigator jeered as he walked off, adjusting her sunglasses and staring after him. Half way to Usopp, he heard Sanji call for him to come eat his requested snack and let Tori down to hop around. Nami sighed when the bird miraculously found its way back to her and successfully climbed up to stare her down over her suited breasts. She rolled her eyes.

"You're blocking the sun," she joked in a playful voice while rubbing his head. "You're getting bigger."

"Luffy feeds him more now I think," Robin informed her. "He's convinced that the more he feeds him, the bigger he has to get."

"He forgets not everyone is made of rubber. Though maybe that's wrong…he's still pretty slim despite everything he eats. The concept of food having actual effect on growth might fascinate him…"

Tori hopped the space awkwardly between Robin and Nami's chairs, squawking happily when Robin patted his head. She turned so light reflected off of her sunglasses.

"Senchou doesn't really have to worry anyway," she said casually. "He's attractive in his own way."

"That's not what I'm saying," Nami scoffed, "I mean his metabolism is ridiculous and the idea of having to control himself would probably blow his mind."

"Perhaps," the archaeologist mused. "Maybe his physique would benefit more from that kind of thing."

"He's attractive enough as he is," Nami said without thinking. As the last word left her mouth, the blood left her face despite the heat and she looked for the tell-tale smirk on Robin's face that signified she had sealed her doom. Robin simply turned back to petting Tori.

"I suppose there's a certain sexiness there."

"Stop. I know what you're doing," Nami growled, suspicious eyes narrowing under her glasses and curling into a fetal position away from her personal harbinger of death. Robin would suck her dry at any cost, until she found exactly what she was looking for. Like an oil rig digging in an apparently abandoned field. Until she struck money and bought Nami's soul for all it was worth…

"If you know what I'm doing there should be no issue with us having a little girl chat about it," her older friend went on smoothly, a little too nicely.

"Luffy is not sexy," Nami said resolutely and clearly enough that Robin would take the hint and leave her to her tanning. She was about to add onto that, when they both were alerted to Tori's need for more attention with a sharp squawk and shake of his tail feathers. He hopped to the lawn below them between the chairs and tilted his head.

"Luffy," he screeched gleefully. "Sexy Luffy…"

Starting with the skull, every piece of skeletal frame holding Nami up liquified into soup, flopping over so her head fell down to Tori's level with sunken eyes and dried lips.

"You little _shit head_…"

"SEXY," he screamed, sprinting on bird feet back to his mom who had just come out of the kitchen, "SEXY LUFFY…"

"THIS IS NOT," Nami roared, Robin struggling to contain her laughter when Nami's foot got stuck in the chair's plastic lashing and she fell on her face, "HAPPENING TO ME."

Luffy burped and his stomach returned to normal, blinking out at his screeching child running across the lawn from the upper deck. Usopp watched slack jawed with Brook, the words coming out of Tori's mouth a bit too clear and only made that much more awkward by their navigator shouting death threats in his wake.

"Looks like it finally found its voice," Sanji commented, coming out of the galley and making a face when he put the broken words the bird was saying together. Luffy tilted his head.

"Sexy?"

"Ah," Sanji seemed eager to offer explanation, "my princesses were probably talking about me."

"What's that mean?" Luffy asked, Zoro leaning on the rail near the bottom of the stairs and giving Nami a pitying look.

"The girls were talking perverted stuff and your bird decided it was time to join in the gossip."

* * *

"I know what you're thinking, and do not even think you can put me in the same category as you," Nami seethed, watching Franky pour the molten gold into a small cast mould of her molar. He lifted his welders mask and smirked at her.

"Nee-chan, nobody cares if you have some pervert in you too…well, we all knew you did…we just wish you'd embrace it- okay, I'll shut up. Just please stay over there. No need to throw things…"

She put the wrench back where she'd picked it up and let her head fall to the ply wood serving as a desk for the moment. "I do not think…those things."

"'Course not," he said with a roll of the eyes. "What could be more cliche than a sexy young woman thinking a sexy young man is…sexy."

"Why am I even talking to you about this…" Nami muttered into her arm.

"Because I am an expert at sexy?" he offered. She waved him away.

"How about no."

"You're cold, Nami-nee."

"Go cry to Robin."

"Ah. Don't tempt me."

"Are you finished with my tooth yet? At this rate the flesh is gonna close up and I'll feel weird forever."

"Keep your panties on, sweet-heart."

"I'm not the one who has trouble with that, pervert."

"You flatter me."

"Not really."

"Just tell Mugiwara you have feelings for him."

"I DON'T."

"Robin said-"

"STOP MEDDLING IN THINGS THAT ARE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN."

"I'm sure he probably thinks the same thing," he said encouragingly. "You probably gotta explain what all that means first, though…"

"I am not about to explain to a grown man what the term 'sexy' means, and then embarrass myself by telling him that's what I think of him."

"Nobody would think you're weird for thinking that."

"AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS?"

"DAMMIT, I WANT TO BE AN UNCLE," he sobbed, probably hoping that would make her change her mind.

Nami threw the wrench, collected her tooth, and ignored his twitching form as she exited up stage.

That night, she dreamed she bore the bird children of a man who still could not fathom her vagina. Franky cried so many happy tears he drowned everyone. As she disappeared under the salty irony, all of her teeth floated out of her mouth and to the surface.

* * *

Though the next couple days were pretty rough, Nami somehow maneuvered through them. Luffy just accepted the fact that all Tori was ever going to say was his name, and this other weird word that everyone seemed to be avoiding his questions about. Nami tried her best to just not even run into him at all, which is kind of hard when you live on a ship.

"This island actually looks pretty nice," Sanji commented, Tori flitting from his shoulder to Luffy's when he came over to observe with a huge grin on his face. The wide sweep of Tori's tail fell over the red of his shirt like a second layer.

_That bird should really be flying by now…_

Chopper didn't seem to be worried, so she probably shouldn't be either. Now that he'd been speaking with him like all his other animal friends for a while, he probably got his information first hand anyway. If Tori wasn't sweating it, nobody else should either. Probably. Maybe he never wanted to fly. Maybe he just wanted to live his life hopping from one shoulder to the next. Preferably not Nami's, though. His claws were getting bigger.

"You should be all set, Nami," Chopper chirped when he'd finished putting her new tooth in and stood back to see what she thought. Her initial reaction was to just sit there and prod at it with her tongue.

"Feers weeld," she said with some difficulty, finally letting it sink it that she had one of those trashy looking gold teeth in her own mouth. At least hers was pretty much undetectable unless someone was making a point of looking in her mouth. She still cringed and vowed to collect on every insecurity she had in herself now when Luffy became Pirate King. She would probably be able to buy her own ship and hitch it up to Sunny.

Sanji made sure to provide food that night that wouldn't tear the new tooth out of her mouth when she ate, and for a day that probably would've gone a little more dramatically only a couple years prior, she had to give herself credit for the growing up she'd done. Usopp had even built a bon-fire and Zoro had brought out the sake without having to be asked twice. It was Zoro anyway, but everyone was feeling pretty content, so celebrating her new tooth seemed reason enough to celebrate something. She excused herself to use the bathroom and finally noticed Luffy was nowhere to be seen. Immediately feeling bad, knowing this was probably a result of avoiding anything to do with him for the past few days, she decided to go looking for him.

He stood beyond Robin's flower garden, parallel with the railing and staring after something with a face she had not seen on him before. Her pause at the top of the stairs hadn't attracted his attention, though she was sure he could hear her making her way over. He didn't turn to acknowledge her when she finally stood beside him, blinking when she saw what he was looking at.

"He'll probably be happier like this, eh," he said quietly, watching Tori swoop on tree branches with a new friend, only turning regretfully a couple times to look back at mom. Nami gave the bird a deadpan face when she noticed the other birds evolved chest and shriller squawks. She couldn't really blame him. Hell, she had probably conditioned him to look for that kind of thing. Given him some kind of inescapable breast fetish. Luffy probably had no clue he'd been dumped for that kind of thing and was probably assuming it was something like 'he wants to be free'.

"Yeah. Yep. He'll be much happier this way," Nami said witheringly, leaning her forearms on the rail and sighing. "You did a good job raising him, Luffy. I'm sure with your support he found what he needed to…take flight."

That and the prospect of furthering his species…

They both watched the birds play for a bit, and then after about twenty minutes of silence on the humans part, Tori bid them a final farewell with a gusto screech of 'SEXY LUFFY' and disappeared to Neptune knew where with his girlfriend. Nami felt bad sighing in relief, but not much.

She wasn't really prepared to feel one of Luffy's big, weathered hands move over one of hers after he'd completely disappeared. He didn't look at her, but she smiled all the same.

"I feel like," he started, "it's okay for people and things to leave when they want to…"

Her face softened at the simple, scarred tone he used. Like he'd had to dig it out of a place he didn't often like to visit.

"I just want them to miss me as much as I miss them."

Her heart dropped to her ovaries and she screamed at her tear ducts to behave themselves. Instead of crying she squeezed his hand and placed her other over the top of his.

"It would be impossible to not miss you," she said quietly, lifting the hand to her lips reassuringly. "And that is something I can account from personal experience."

He let her draw his head to her chest, holding him in an awkward hug while she ignored his whimpering and tried to hold herself together. All of the things he was probably feeling…the loss of a child from its father/mother figures perspective…the implied hurt this had probably opened in light of Ace's passing…she couldn't imagine how he must be feeling…

"Nami, what's sexy mean…"

"Shut up and finish crying."

She kissed the top of his head and caught sight of the orchid in Robin's garden out of the corner of her eye. She could swear she heard her laughing somewhere.

* * *

_The end._


End file.
